A lot of people have problems dealing with money and the root of it may be far beyond financial. That’s because, according to Family Constellation theory, traumas and limiting beliefs can influence your relationship with money. This type of approach considers that we inherit from our family a set of beliefs and behavior and therefore can address the root of various problems.
The relationship with money is an example of what can be treated with the Family Constellation. It is very common to consider money as something dirty, immoral, responsible for corrupting personalities, among other beliefs that limit your relationship with this good.
Surely you’ve thought about money in some way similar to these. Families and other social circles often have stories about someone who has been corrupted by finances. This means that we give money a kind of problem-causing personality.
However, it is possible to get out of these limiting patterns and improve your relationship with this good, which is largely responsible for maintaining life. Next, check out some tips.
These five tips will help you improve your relationship with money
1. Understand what money is
Money itself is just a piece of paper, metal or else a virtual number in the bank account. As we live in a capitalist society, he is responsible for providing growth, well-being, better possibilities, freedom and security. Unlike periods in which there was barter (the exchange between goods), money is a standardized way of carrying out this exchange.
Therefore, money also symbolizes an exchange energy that is at the service of the necessary conditions for living. An exchange happens when a value is stipulated by one party and the other pays this value for a necessary item or service.
2. Establish an equal relationship with money
Money cannot be bigger or smaller than you. An arrogant posture prevents you from respecting the value due when he enters your life. An inferior posture gives a greater value than your life to money. Therefore, establish an egalitarian relationship with this good. For example, if money is seen as greater than you, this brings a lot of unhappiness, as it comes from the belief that you will only be fully happy when you have a financial life condition different from the one you have now.
But when money is seen as something minor, you can put yourself in situations such as compliance with the financial devaluation of your work. This can manifest itself in the difficulty of asking for a salary increase or putting a fair price on the product you sell.
3. Make peace with your past
Financial problems may involve past trauma. And poorly resolved traumas in the past harm your present and can also harm your future. Money doesn’t come if you don’t plant your feet in the present. There may be something unresolved that prevents you from having a good relationship with money at the present time. Investigate!
A valid example here is if you had a difficult childhood and didn’t always have food on the table, and today you go to the supermarket and buy food to stock up. It is a situation of accumulating more than necessary, which can lead to debt and waste.
Another situation that can arise in people who had a difficult childhood is despair and guilt for not being able to give everything to their children. In these moments, one must understand that it is possible to deal with money by keeping only what is necessary. In this case, choose to be as honest as possible with your children/partners about your financial situation. Thus, you establish a relationship of transparency, which generates less demands (from the children) and less guilt (from the parents).
In general, to eliminate past traumas, you can do exercises to try to keep your mind in the present. Remember that you no longer live this situation from your past, what happened back there does not define your situation now. Welcome your past, without resentment of situations or people and focus on your now.
4. Know your limiting beliefs
Lack of money is not the only limiting factor when it comes to finances. Yes, it is an important point to consider, but the statement “I don’t have money” can hide other roots for financial problems. According to the family constellation theory, a person can carry in their unconscious that by claiming to have no money, it is a way of outsourcing responsibility.
The inner child that resides within us may be waiting for someone to take matters into their own hands by claiming that they have no money. The child waits for the parents (or other responsible persons) to appear and resolve the situation.
To get out of this situation, remember that your money is your responsibility. Take the power of your own finances from spending control. Free yourself from the fear of looking at your bank statement, organize your money with a monthly expense spreadsheet or in any other way that works best for you.
5. Release guilt when dealing with money
Many people feel guilty about achieving financial success, especially those from humble beginnings. Still others limit their growth potential out of fear or guilt of standing out from others. Therefore, seek release from guilt by accepting your successful financial condition or the opportunities for growth that you have.
Especially at this time of a pandemic, it is common for some people to harm their mental health by harboring guilt for having more possibilities than other people. This guilt can harm your financial health.
This is a complex issue that can be seen from psychotherapy with the Family Constellation approach. If you have many limiting beliefs about money, you may want to seek this type of help. Many cities even offer psychotherapy services for free, check your options.